


Natasha Romanov

by silo18



Series: all ur favs are ace [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexuality, F/M, Modern AU, ace!nat, mundane AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 08:05:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4172232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silo18/pseuds/silo18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha and Clint have sex for the first time and Natasha just finds it pretty fucking weird tbh</p>
            </blockquote>





	Natasha Romanov

**Author's Note:**

> cw: Nat is ace (tho she doesn't know it) and she does ~sex stuff~ with Clint and I'm p sure that the consent at all times is pretty good, but I guess that could be uncomfortable reading maybe, idk? V explicit consent tho, I wouldn't call it dubcon even really.
> 
> If anything in this bothers you tho, please do let me know and I can update the cw, I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable at all

Nat wasn't entirely sure when she and Clint had started dating. She figured that was probably okay though, because Clint didn't seem to know either. He'd brought it up completely out of the blue; turning to her one day and saying "Nat, are we dating? Because everyone thinks we are, and I'm kinda starting to think maybe we are as well, and if we're not, I kind of need to know now, so that I can sort my head out." His voice had sounded completely level, the only indication of his nervousness being the slight shaking of his usually steady hands.

She hadn't replied right away, taking some time to really think about it. She'd left it long enough that he started to look nervous, and she ended up having to cut off his mini speech about how it was fine, they could still be friends, he'd just need a little time to go back to normal. He'd looked pretty happy about it though, so Nat was okay with her choice, despite slight misgivings. She didn't really know how to do the dating thing, but she really was incredibly fond of Clint.

It was really okay in the end. Nothing much changed really, they'd just sometimes go for nicer meals than they used to. They'd already had a tendency to hang out just the two of them since just about the first week of uni. Which, in hindsight, was probably why everyone had assumed they were already dating. So yeah, it was exactly like being best friends, but with a bit more kissing. She liked the cuddling and kissing on the cheek or forehead. Even close mouthed kissing was fun, though she was somewhat less convinced about making out. Sometimes it was good, sometimes it wasn't. She'd never told Clint that though, because she was pretty sure that relationships were supposed to involve making out. And also enjoying it properly. But otherwise, it was good.

After about a few weeks, the making out turned a little bit more serious. It was no longer just making out, it was making out with his leg in between hers, completely pressed together. It was Clint's hand skimming under her shirt and along the fabric of her bra strap. The first couple of times she'd pull away a little whenever that happened and because Clint was a decent guy worth dating, he'd immediately stop whatever it was that had made her uncomfortable without her even having to vocalise it or explain. The third or fourth time this happened, he stopped entirely and pulled away enough to sit cross legged looking at her. She mimicked his stance because it seemed like the thing to do.

"Nat, you know I would never want to do anything you don't want to do, right? Cause you always seem kinda uncomfortable, and I don't want you to be. Is this new for you, or?" He sounded so earnest and Nat just felt so guilty. It felt like she'd not been telling him something but she wasn’t really sure what there was to tell.

She'd known this would happen eventually. She didn’t have any previous relationship experience, but if anything, she thought that he'd probably been quite restrained in how long he waited before bringing it up. She hadn't really dated at secondary school because most of the guys there were fuckboys and a lot of the girls were kind of irritating, in way that would probably preclude them from doing anything with a girl, except maybe kissing them at a party for the sake of entertaining some guys. She hadn't been impressed with her schoolmates, that was for sure. And also, fuck off if she was having sex with anyone while they all still lived in their parents' houses. The very idea just made her skin crawl. 

"Uh, yeah, I've not really done anything particularly. I'm assuming that's not the case for you?" Clint made a little so-so gesture with his head, something that approximated both a shrug and a nod without really being either. 

"Well. Yeah. But obviously we aren't gonna do anything you're not 100% on board with. God, is there any way to say that without sounding really condescending, like 'don't worry, I won't rape you' because of fucking course not, but you know what I mean right? We'll go at your speed and just, like, whatever you're chill with, I guess." He seemed a little awkward, but nowhere near as much as Natasha, whose internal monologue had apparently short circuited and was just going round and round in circles. That wouldn't be so bad, if those circles didn't mostly consist of 'oh shit, I should probably at least have watched porn at some point, that's a thing right? I'm not sure fanfiction is a legit representation of sex. Then again, is porn a legit representation of sex???' or 'am I supposed to have shaved my pubes? Cause I'm pretty sure that's a thing.'

For some reason, Natasha's brain got stuck on the second one, even though she'd never really been fussed before. She'd never felt the need to completely shave down there before, cause she couldn't be bothered, and if anything thought that a lack of pubes was a bit childlike and thus weird. But what if Clint wanted her to? What if he was expecting her to have? Like, obviously she kept it all trimmed but what if????? It had reached the point where she couldn't even internally articulate her freak out. Not ideal.

When Natasha wasn't sure what to do though, she went on the offensive, so she got up and went and sat straddling Clint's lap and kissed Clint hard. At least, she thought she was kissing him hard? She'd never quite been sure what that actually meant? Like, do you just jam your face into the other's person really hard, or do you ~kiss forcefully~ or what? She was pretty sure though, that however it was supposed to work, you weren't supposed to be too distracted by overthinking this sort of thing to enjoy it. It wasn't bad, as such, it was just pretty weird and she was too busy being distracted by the weird to work out whether or not she was actually getting any pleasure out of it, which was probably an answer in and of itself. 

She could feel that Clint was getting hard though. The evidence was fairly unmistakeable given that she was sitting pretty much straight on top of his boner. That made sense, that was to be expected, perfectly reasonable under the circumstances really, except that she really didn't know what she was supposed to do with that. Actually, no, she knew exactly what she was supposed to do, but she hadn't quite anticipated how incredibly awkward she would be feeling about that. Surely the arousal or whatever was supposed to have kicked in by this point? Regardless, in its absence, she just went with what she was pretty sure made sense to do.

She did what she was pretty sure she'd read described as 'grinding down against him'. It felt rather like secondary school PE warm ups, what with the whole 'make a circle with your hips' thing. Pressing into solidity and heat as she did it was a rather different experience though. It definitely wasn't unpleasant. In fact, she would go so far as to say that the pressure actually felt quite nice. This bit made rather more sense than the whole putting your tongue in somebody else's mouth thing did.

The next logical step, Nat assumed, was getting both their clothes off, so she went to start unbuttoning the (unusually smart, albeit still smart-casual) button down actualfax shirt that Clint was wearing. She didn't manage more than fiddling with the very top button before Clint took her hands and stopped kissing her. "You know, we could both just keep our clothes on. I really did mean it when I said we'd do this at your speed." She should maybe have known that he'd notice the slight hesitance in her movements. He was unusually observant, after all. 

It took a moment or two of consideration though, before she felt sure enough of her answer. Part of her felt like she should just go for it, #yolo and whatever, at least then it'd be done and she'd know for next time, but a larger part was relieved to have a bit of an out. Next time, she'd probably be more okay with pushing it a bit more, but for this time; "Actually, that sounds nice. Clothes on does sound pretty good for now."

He nodded and kissed her again briefly. "Can you get off like this? I mean, like, do you want my hand as well? Like, obviously under your clothes?" He said this without blushing, without even seeming particularly awkward apart from the extra 'like's. Natasha, on the other hand, blushed quite a lot. She thought about it for a moment, and goddamnit, why hadn't she thought about any of this in advance?

In the end though, she shook her head. "This is fine for today I think." Part of it was just feeling uncomfortable with the basic idea, part of it was noticing that Clint hadn't trimmed his fingernails in a while and not wanting to find out what that felt like. The very idea made her shudder a little, but she used that to rub against him again, so she didn't think he had noticed. 

This all carried on for a while, Nat wondering when it was going to stop being weird, if nice, and the whole being properly into it thing was going to kick in. It didn't at any point before Clint came, and for obvious reasons, she didn't get to find out if it would have happened after that. Natasha didn't come, but she was fine with that, as she told Clint when he started making noises of concern. This was, of course, after he'd moved her off his lap, saying something or other about overstimulation. 

Nat wasn't really sure what the socially acceptable post-dry humping etiquette was, and something of that must have shown in her face, because Clint kissed her again. "I kind of desperately need a shower and some fresh boxers. Uhm, you can stay here or head back to your room, I suppose, I don't really mind." 

Heading back to her own room for a shower as well was decided to be the best course of action, not least so Nat could think through the whole encounter (though she didn't say that out loud), so they kissed briefly and both headed off to get clean again. As she showered, she ran through the whole thing in her head again, and couldn't quite work out what people meant when they talked about sex. She'd enjoyed it, sure, but she'd spent the entire time very much aware of what she was doing and being unsure of whether or not it was what she was supposed to be doing, which is not what other people made it sound like. She wasn't sure about the whole removing of clothing thing though. Conclusion: 7/10, would probably do again.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, idk if you can tell but I just basically word vomited my feelings about sex onto paper, and lemme tell you, I felt so awkward even WRITING this like I had to keep stopping and coming back to it because I just couldn't cope, so this took literally weeks and weeks (possibly months) to write.
> 
> Pls reassure me that other people feel like this about the whole thing. Ty.
> 
> Come chat on tumblr!  
> toughdependablesexy.tumblr.com  
> 


End file.
